Coffee Shop Consultations Interrupt Minister’s Studies
by Abigail Van Buren
This article is applicable to mental health counselors
DEAR ABBY: I’m a member of the clergy who enjoys studying for my ministry and doctoral work at a local coffee shop. Three men who go there every day have found out that I’m a minister, and they each want to talk with me while I’m there. Although all three are members of the same religion, none of them is affiliated with a church.I have invited them to visit my worship services, as well as call the office and set up an appointment with me. I have also tried to diplomatically explain that I go to the coffee shop to study. One of them ignores it, another appears hurt and the third one gets offended. When they’re not around, I am productive. When they show up, they want me to be their chaplain.Because of where I live, finding another coffee shop is not a viable option. How can I set a boundary with them and still do my studying there? Thank you. — REVEREND KEN IN NEW YORK
DEAR REVEREND: Do it the same way doctors or lawyers do with people who approach them for “free” advice outside the office. As soon as you are approached, say firmly, “I’m studying right now. If you want to talk, please call my office and I’ll schedule an appointment with you. Right now I’m busy.” And then refuse to be intimidated by their reaction. Unless you draw the line, they’ll suck you dry.
link: http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2014/3/10/1
